I Am My Own Grandma

Allison: Mommy, tell me more about when I'm a grown-up.
Me: OK. Well, first of all, you won't live in our house. You'll have your own house to live in!
Allison, wailing: But all the houses are taken!
Me: Well, someone will be done with theirs, and then you can buy it.
A: Are you sure?
Me: Oh yes. That's how it works. You know, like when I was a child, I lived in Granny and Grandpa's house. But now that I'm married to Daddy and we have our family, we have our own house.
A: When I'm a grown-up, I want to marry the President of the United States.
Me: OK. You can. But you could also be the President of the United States.
David: When I'm a grown-up, I want to marry [our friend] Ellie.
A: Mommy, if David marries Ellie, do I get to be their kids' Grandma?
Me: No. You get to be their auntie! I'll be their Grandma.
A: But I want to be their Grandma.
Me: Well, that's not how it works. You get to be their auntie.
A: When I'm a grown-up, can I be your kids' Grandma?
Me: No. You are my kids!
A: No, I mean when I'm a grown-up!
Me: No, you'll still be my daughter.
A: No. I mean when I'm a grown-up, I want to be the Grandma for your kids.
Me: But Allison, you are my kid. You can't be your own Grandma! When you have a child, I'll be their grandmother. And then when they have a child, you'll be their grandmother.
A: And can I drink coffee and wear fancy shoes?
Me: Yes, definitely. When you're a grown-up, we'll drink coffee together, and we'll share fancy shoes with each other.
A: Oh, I can't wait!